You are currently browsing the archives for the day Thursday, August 20th, 2009.
… this was a tad painful.
I mean, seriously, this is just wrong. On so many levels. The voice cackling in the background seems to belong to an older man. And the victim here is just a kid. Are we left to believe this was a dad playing a “joke” on his son?
In that case, obviously the old man isn’t too concerned about having grandchildren.
Ironically, a mere five hours after posting a blog about VH1’s shamelessly vapid programming, I just caught wind that “Matsuflex” (bottom) and “Shawn” (top) from Tool Academy will be “making an appearance” at a nightclub in Greensboro, NC called Heaven.
(<---Deep breath, and...)
Okay, first of all, let's not overlook the fact that, for this "appearance", these two dudes are getting at least two thousand bones a piece.
Second, let’s not forget that one of these guys dubbed himself “Matsuflex.” Please bear in mind that this was not one of those shows where someone like Flava Flav begins the season by arbitrarily fitting each contestant for a (ridiculous) new moniker. This dude came into the show with this silly name. (Second rule of Fight Club: you can’t give yourself a nickname. Especially one that involves the word “flex”)
Third, let’s certainly not overlook the fact that the other guy apparently walked into his barbershop and said, “Gimme the Kate Gosselin”.
Finally, the entire premise of Tool Academy was to expose these guys as being jobless, ambitionless, immoral, unethical, irresponsible, and, quite simply, the worst young adult males the VH1 casting directors could find (in other words, tools). And yet, undoubtedly, people are going to pay money to go see them.
Now, it bears confessing that I used to frequent Heaven in my early twenties. That was before it sold out and began doing things like this.
Perhaps the funniest part of the whole thing is that, under the ad for this exciting happening at Heaven, there is a picture (unlicensed, no doubt) of Megan Fox advertising Heaven.
Lol.
Listen up, Heaven peeps: ain’t no WAY Ms. Fox is repping your brand. The only Transformers in this arrangement are y’all: a once-fun hangout turned Heaven for Tools.
… is the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a Youtube video. I defy you to watch this and not laugh out loud.
So as I began my first cup of coffee this morning I saw a news bulletin on my homepage (CNN.com) informing me that this clown above is wanted for questioning surrounding the murder of this other person beside him. And he is on the run.
Apparently, he (Ryan Jenkins) is a reality star who has been on two shows on VH1 (Megan Wants To Be A Millionaire and I Love Money 3). I’m somewhat surprised I don’t recognize him because, though I’m ashamed to admit it, I often watch these skeezy shows on VH1 (Read: I Love New York, Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, Charm School, Tool Academy). They are so impossibly horrible you can’t look away.
And while I don’t want to be insensitive to the fact that a human being has just died, I do have to wonder: with all the super-skeezy shows VH1 is running these days, am I the only person who is entirely unsurprised that one of their castmembers is now wanted in questioning for murder?
I mean, honestly, wasn’t it only a matter of time?
…or does that obnoxious singing actually prevent customers from going to Coldstone?
