I’ve liked Julia Stiles ever since 10 Things I Hate About You. Even though that was a pretty silly (albeit, highly watchable) movie, something about Stiles suggested she was the real deal.
This satire proves it.
Mocking the way certain celebrities go far overboard in trying to appear eco-friendly, Stiles develops a “fashion line” that is “100 percent green”.
My favorite article is “The Shants”: a shirt that doubles as pants.
“I just thought that was so creative. How he had been liberated from the conventions of fashion.” Priceless.
This is picking up where Zoolander and Derelicte left off.
This woman, Caster Semenya, because of the epic fashion in which she just won the 800 meters, is about to be tested for having a dong. She blew her competition away sobadly that the only viable explanation appears to be that she is, in fact, a dude.
Now, this may seem like a strange turn of events, but we all know what’s ultimately about to happen, right? I mean, isn’t it the same old story? Boy pretends to be girl, boy dominates in girls sports, boy begins feeling guilty because he inevitably develops crush on teammate, boy is outed in an embarrassingly scandalous way, boy tries confessing his true feelings for teammate but she is so hurt she doesn’t want to hear it, boy thinks he has lost her but she eventually comes around and they live happily ever after.
It happened for Jonathan Brandis in Ladybugs. It happened for Miguel Nunez in Juwanna Mann. In a way, it even happened for Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. So why should we think it won’t happen for Semenya?
When the results come in, Semenya will be shown to, in fact, be a dude. But after the scandal dies down, he will be able to live happily ever after with this girl below, Julie Meadows, who won the bronze in the event.
I spoke at a 5-day Christian youth event in Washington (state) two weeks ago and on the final day, I was told that one of the volunteers at the camp— a man in his sixties named Bob— would be carving some wood with chainsaws.
Turns out Bob was two-time world champion in chainsaw wood sculpting (I’m sure that’s not the technical name) and when it came his time, he circled all of us up— roughly 120 kids and 25 adults— and gave us a quick talk.
Now, I can’t stress to you how quiet and gentle and humble this guy was. Throughout the week he hardly made a peep, just walked around smiling and nodding and talking about how great Jesus is (I know this is often the description for a certain wacky breed of Christian, but trust me, in this dude’s case, it was authentic— not a crutch).
Just before Bob began cutting, he told us a story. You could tell he wasn’t very comfortable in front of a large group, which made the whole thing even more touching. Bob went on to tell us that he met his wife when she, as an eight grader (and he as a HS Junior), moved into the house across the street. He went on to say that she waited for him throughout his whole service in Vietnam and how, that day in Washington, was the longest he’d been away from her since. He began crying as he said he would be heading home to see her that night.
Then, once Bob regained his composure, he said a few words about his love for Jesus. And, just like when he spoke of his wife, he began tearing up at the mention of Jesus’s name.
Now, I know lots of people aren’t on board with the whole Jesus thing like I am, but that’s not the central point here. Instead, it’s to highlight what a gentle, humble, authentic, passionate love it takes for someone to, when speaking of his/her beloved, be rendered incapable of holding back tears. Regardless of your personal faith system, being around people like that reminds us all what it means to be human, to be vulnerable… and it reminds us how beautiful it is to love and be loved.
Bob went on to carve a lion face. When done, he put it aside and began carving a bear out of the remaining chunk of wood. The whole time he was working on the bear, I was eyeing the lion, running schemes for how I could get it for myself.
Turns out, I didn’t need a sceme: Bob had originally intended on giving it to me. And when he was finished with all his work he called me to the front and presented it to me.
I’ll be honest: it’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. Chances are I’ll never again see a world champion performing his or her craft. I mean, how often do you meet a world champion of something?
That lion’s head will remain with me for a long time, reminding me not only of the man who sculpted it, but of what it means to love others so passionately and humbly that I care more about them than myself.
I caught an interview with this clown last night. His name is Dave Salmoni and he— get this— lived with lions for six months. And while this is unquestionably a feat of great bravery and will make for highly enteraining television, I can’t help but wonder: how do you become the guy who wakes up one morning and says, “You know what, I got nothin better to do today; think I’ll go chill with some killer lions.”
In the second video, we see Salmoni (prior to filming his 6 month show, Into The Pride) being attacked by a lion. My favorite part is around the 30 second mark when he says the attack was “unprovoked.”
Well, yes, except for the small issue that attacking IS ITS NATURE!
From what I gather this is a common problem for young babies: flat noggin syndrome (see exhibit A above). And apparently, the go-to technology for rounding out these melons is this helmet in exhibit B.
Now, here’s my question: Since these kids are in a tough enough spot already, can’t we find them some protective wear that doesn’t suggest they are about to take center ice for the Mighty Ducks?
