Dude Looks Like a Lady

This woman, Caster Semenya, because of the epic fashion in which she just won the 800 meters, is about to be tested for having a dong. She blew her competition away so badly that the only viable explanation appears to be that she is, in fact, a dude.

Now, this may seem like a strange turn of events, but we all know what’s ultimately about to happen, right? I mean, isn’t it the same old story? Boy pretends to be girl, boy dominates in girls sports, boy begins feeling guilty because he inevitably develops crush on teammate, boy is outed in an embarrassingly scandalous way, boy tries confessing his true feelings for teammate but she is so hurt she doesn’t want to hear it, boy thinks he has lost her but she eventually comes around and they live happily ever after.

It happened for Jonathan Brandis in Ladybugs. It happened for Miguel Nunez in Juwanna Mann. In a way, it even happened for Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. So why should we think it won’t happen for Semenya?

When the results come in, Semenya will be shown to, in fact, be a dude. But after the scandal dies down, he will be able to live happily ever after with this girl below, Julie Meadows, who won the bronze in the event.