Dear FIFA,

In light of the fact that Argentina, perhaps the best soccer team in the world, is on the brink of not qualifying for next year’s World Cup due to the impossibly difficult qualifying group you have set forth for them, we fans of US soccer want to extend our profound thanks for the group you have provided us.

Whereas teams like Argentina face squads such as Brazil and Chile and Paraguay, we get pitted against teams like High Point Central High School and the Rochester YMCA all-stars.

For this act of generosity, we thank you. We will see you at next summer’s Cup.

Gratefully,
USA