In light of the fact that Argentina, perhaps the best soccer team in the world, is on the brink of not qualifying for next year’s World Cup due to the impossibly difficult qualifying group you have set forth for them, we fans of US soccer want to extend our profound thanks for the group you have provided us.
Whereas teams like Argentina face squads such as Brazil and Chile and Paraguay, we get pitted against teams like High Point Central High School and the Rochester YMCA all-stars.
For this act of generosity, we thank you. We will see you at next summer’s Cup.
Could you please have a sit down with your elected officials and ask them to stop making fools of us?
I mean, honestly.
First, your adulterous governor goes gallavantin’ around South America on a hook up spree, and now this Joe Wilson clown from the House of Representatives decides to interrupt Barack Obama during his healthcare speech with, “You lie.”
Really?
Now, we’re still somewhat skeptical of this healthcare plan up here, too. But there’s a time for dissent. And it ain’t while another man has the floor. Especially when that other man happens to be the President of the United States.
Listen, South Carolina, you and I talk alot about respect and honor and being southern gentlemen. And in the last few months, your elected officials haven’t really been displaying those virtues through their actions.
Please, tell them to pull it together. For both our sakes.
I am speaking for Goodwill Industries in a couple weeks and have been brainstorming on what “goodwill” really is. While thinking on this— on the ideas of love and service and self-sacrifice— I recalled a really good passage from Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. So I leafed through my copy and realized just how insightful the scene really is. Listen to this:
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“I shut my eyes and ask myself, ‘Would you persevere long on that path [of love]? And if the patient whose wounds you are washing did not meet you with gratitude, but worried you with his whims, without valuing or remarking on your charitable services, began abusing you and rudely commanding you, and complaning to the superior authorities of you (which often happens when people are in great suffering)— what then? Would you persevere in your love or not?’ And do you know, I came with horror to the conclusion that, if anything could dissipate my love to humanity, it would be ingratitude. In short, I am a hired servant, I expect my payment at once— that is, praise and the repayment of love with love. Otherwise I am incapable of loving any one.”
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How beautiful and true is this of human nature? I know, for my part, I love the idea of serving others… but only when I imagine I will receive praise for it. Like the character in Dostoevsky’s book, I am a hired servant, one who expect praise and love for my charity.
This is false altruism.
And it’s certainly not goodwill.
Rather, I think goodwill is doing things for others— providing love and service and help and compassion—with genuine disregard for what we might get in return.
It is a very difficult thing to be selfless. Nearly impossible. As the book goes on, Dostoevsky seems to suggest that it’s through constant practice that we are able to drown out the proddings of self-congratulation and begin looking on our fellow man with humility and love.
Dude, no one has ever had more people pulling for him. I mean, everyone in the world wants you to succeed. I think even North Carolina fans want you to do well in this new one-year football venture. The way you handled being benched as a Duke basketball senior was a demonstration of true graciousness and humility. You are the consummate sportsman, you have a Rudy-like work ethic, and as such, everyone respects you.
But dude, seriously, an interception on the last play in overtime? Really?
Why do these kinds of things always happen to you?
No one has been more skeptical of you than I. And as a Notre Dame fan, I have ridden you pretty hard over the past couple seasons. I am beginning to think I may have been wrong about you. Those huge numbers you put up last week against (what was said to be) a formidable Nevada team were highly impressive. I still have my doubts, but young man, I am beginning to come around. Please don’t make me regret that decision.
I remember the first time I lost my woman to chicken tetrazzini. It was heart-breaking. The first time always is. But after the next few times I just kinda came to realize that, when it comes to chicken tetrazzini, love is helpless. I’m sure this poor woman will learn the same thing.
(Meanwhile, this other woman ought to holler at Gordon Ramsey and get on Hell’s Kitchen, cause she’s obviously got mad skills in the cooking department.)
As tomorrow kicks off the first weekend of college football, this guy enters his 60th season coaching Penn State. 60 years. The dude is around 141 years old and still coaching. Consequently, out of profound respect, I will pull for the Nittany Lions like I’m an alum.
